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Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted,

Lawyer: “Now that you have been acquitted, will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?” Client: “After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning, I’m beginning to think I didn’t.”

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What do lawyers do after they die?

What do lawyers do after they die? They lie still.

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Why don’t lawyers enjoy playing

Why don’t lawyers enjoy playing golf? Because it’s too much like work, what with all of the lying involved.

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A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with

A doctor was vacationing at the seashore with his family. Suddenly, he spotted a fin sticking up in the water and fainted. “Darling, it was just a shark,” said his wife when he came to. “You’ve got to...

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What kind of clothes do lawyers

What kind of clothes do lawyers wear? Lawsuits.

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Where is the best place to hide a lawyer?

Where is the best place to hide a lawyer? In a brief case.

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Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why

Q: If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don’t you swerve to hit him? A: It might be your bicycle.

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Q. Why is it that many lawyers have

Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? A. From chasing parked ambulances.

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A tough case was being argued in court. The

A tough case was being argued in court. The defense attorney, feeling that he was in trouble, sent the judge a bottle of hundred-year old brandy. The defendant was fit to be tied. “The judge’ll kill...

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An old man was critically

An old man was critically ill. Feeling that death was near, he called his lawyer. “I want to become a lawyer. How much is it or the express degree you told me about?” “It’s $50,000,” the lawyer said....

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